Your products and services descriptions are your pitch, your handshake, and your moment to connect. They are the bridge between bridge between what you offer, and what your customers need. But so many businesses get them wrong, which can leave your potential buyers confused, unimpressed, or worse—moving on to a competitor who does make those connections with them. So, what makes for bad product and service descriptions? Let’s have a look at some examples… and a tip for reviewing yours to ensure your descriptions are doing their job.

Overloading with Features Instead of Benefits

Bad descriptions often focus too much on the “what”, and forget the “why.” For example:

• Bad: “This blender has a 500-watt motor, stainless steel blades, and five speed settings.”
• Better: “Make silky smoothies and crush ice in seconds with this powerful blender. Its 500-watt motor and five speed settings give you perfect control, while durable stainless steel blades handle even the toughest ingredients.”

Why it’s bad: the first description just lists features. Features are important – they’re great – but they don’t tell the customer what’s in it for them. The better description paints a picture of what the product will do for them, how it solves their problem, or makes their life easier.

Jargon Overload

Descriptions filled with technical terms or industry jargon can alienate customers who aren’t familiar with your field – like this one:

• Bad: “Our B2B SaaS solution leverages AI and machine learning to optimise workflow KPIs and enhance ROI scalability.”
• Better: “Our software uses AI to streamline your workflow and boost efficiency, helping your business achieve growth you can measure, and better results.”

Why it’s bad: the first description gives you a headache. Unless your audience is highly technical, they’ll tune out. The second version simplifies the message, and focuses on the customer’s benefit. It’s still pitched within the world of business, but is much more widely accessible to readers.

Being Too Vague or Generic

A vague description is as bad as no description at all. For instance:

• Bad: “Our accounting services save you time and money.”
• Better: “We handle your bookkeeping, payroll, and tax preparation so you can focus on running your business. Our experts save clients an average of 10 hours a week and reduce tax bills by up to 15%.”

Why it’s bad: the first version could apply to almost any accounting firm. The second gives specific benefit details, building up trust and credibility, and showing readers how their services can directly benefit them and their business.

Missing the Emotional Connection

Customers make decisions with both their heads and their hearts – so tap into those emotional reactions as well. A bad description might only appeal to logic:

• Bad: “This planner has monthly and weekly layouts, with sections for notes and goals.”
• Better: “Stay on top of your busy life with this planner. Set clear goals, track your progress, and celebrate your achievements—all in a sleek, easy-to-use layout designed to keep you motivated.”

Why it’s bad: the first description is dry. The second appeals to emotions as well, offering readers a new and aspirational feeling about their organisation skills.

How to Review and Improve Your Descriptions

The best descriptions are short, specific, and centred on the customer. They don’t just tell people what you offer, they show why it matters. Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what they are looking for when they land on your site. Read through yours, and ask yourself if it clear what problem you’re solving – and whether you feel excited, confident or motivated to buy. If not, it might be time for a rewrite.

Bad descriptions don’t have to be permanent – they are yours to change whenever you want. And with a brand new year just around the corner, it’s a great time to write for a fresh new start in 2025! Carve out some time to review your product and service descriptions, and get my checklist of dos and don’ts, at my masterclass on 10 December. If you’re a member of Writing Club, is included with your membership – or £25 to visit for a one-off: Next Masterclass