The night before our boy started junior school this week, he crawled into my lap at bedtime, and said simply, โIโm scared.โ Even though he was going into a class with at least six of the children he had in his old class โ some of them his dearest friends โ he has felt more and more nervous about starting a brand new school as the weeks have gone on. It breaks your heart when they do things like this.
Itโs so much easier as an adult โ with numerous school changes, new jobs, and going to toddler groups full of strangers under your belt โ because you know that while it might be tough at the start, a classroom with lots of new faces will soon become as familiar as the last one. But explaining that to a boy who only turned seven three weeks ago, who canโt remember his first day at preschool, and who just looks at the world with a mixture of excitement and apprehension of the unknown, is very difficult. Heโs just got to live it to learn it – and thereโs not really much more you can do to prepare them.
The one thing I could tell him was that everyone would be feeling the sameโฆbut when we got to the school gates at 8:30, I could see he didnโt believe me. So many of the children looked to be brimming with confidence: rushing about the playground, laughing with their parents, and shrieking and shouting to their friends. How could all of these lively children be feeling the way he did, when they were all behaving as though they didnโt have a care in the world? He stayed close to us, held hands, and tried to stop the tears from coming.
But at this very moment, my friend โ who also happens to be mum to one of our boyโs favourite friends โ told me that her son had been just as apprehensive, in spite of the brave faรงade. โThey all feel the same, they just wear it differently โ for some of them, itโs on their sleeves.โ
And then the doors opened, and the behaviour changed as reality set in. Long hugs with parents started, and some children wouldnโt let go without gentle encouragement. There were a few lip wobbles, and one started audibly weeping โ her bravery had carried her as far as the teacher, and then deserted her. Another boy tried to run after his retreating parents, and had to be retrieved by a couple of staff members.
Our own little chapโs eyes filled up, and overspilledโฆand then his friends arrived. Finished with their own goodbyes, they all put their arms around our little Sausage, and bore him away in one big hug to meet their teacher.
He met us with a great big smile later, after a brilliant day โ and I hope it was the same for every child starting a brand new school this week.
That first morning was a great reminder for me that you never know whatโs going on inside other people; and if you feel nervous, the chances are that someone else does too. They just donโt show it in the same way.
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What a lovely piece, so heartfelt and at the same time so reassuring!
I could really feel for Ben through your words, and also sense your own feelings of helplessness even though you had done everything to smooth the way. It was a pleasure to read – very well done Becca!
Thank you – thatโs an excellent summary of how I felt!